I have lots of concerns with Mogadao and Zhenzhan but something I never understood was why there were not many instructors. Many were confused about their role in the school. Many had been studying there for many years, with comprehensive knowledge. Everyone was rarely given the opportunity to speak, teach, or assist. I was eager to experience others in an instructor role. I felt everyone had a lot to offer that could be beneficial to everyone. But most of the time their only roles were to attend class and support Zhenzhan by nodding, smiling, and agreeing.

One of the only real official instructors during my time with Mogadao was Thomas. My feelings about Thomas were neutral until I experienced him reprimand a group of students socializing outside as break was coming to end, just so we could be rushed back into class and stand around for 15 minutes while we waited for Zhenzhan to finish their “personal” conversation with a student.

After this incident, Thomas started to appear to me as someone whose undying loyalty and commitment to Zhenzhan was more important to him than taking care of the entire community. Thomas represented to me what would become of anyone who was permitted to dedicate over 10+ years of their life to the school of Mogadao. Someone who does not criticize or question, and follows in an exclusively supportive role with unconditional love. Someone who makes great sacrifice and gives the school priority over all things in their life, accepts everything they've been taught, and is flexible as the format and teachings of the school constantly changes. Someone who must sit on their hands, bite their tongue, and agree with anything and everything Zhenzhan said and did. I think in the end, I just really feel confused for some of the long term students who deserved to be recognized and utilized for their unique abilities and contributions.