This statement is a story of one semester at the Mogadao Institute, which lasted about two months studying with Zhen Dao, and focusing on the martial arts classes. 

 

During my time there I took what was called a “soft” martial arts class as well as the hard “gongfu”.  The “soft class” was advertised for all bodies, as a philosophical class that compared martial arts sparring exchanges with real life situations.  For example, a punch was compared to speaking your truth.  

 

We spent the first 4 weeks on the philosophy and meditation of punching and some blocking.  It was interesting, and although it got a little repetitive, I thought it was probably a sign of care that we were moving slowly.  When finally the class was deemed “ready” to move on, in the next class we worked on an advanced move in which we were doing take downs.  There were no soft mats to cushion falls, and everyone was required to fall. There were at least 3 injuries in class that day, all older people who thought they were taking a gentle class.  We were told that everyone should have known there was a possibility of being injured.  This was my first red flag, a sign of ableism, and that the teacher may not be able to take care of all types of bodies in a class.

 

Another day we were taught a different take down move.  I learned later that this was a defensive move that actually kills people. This was never mentioned in the class.  Instead, we talked about a bunch of heady philosophy. This seems so irresponsible to me in retrospect.  I also took several hard martial arts classes with Zhen (called “gongfu”) and we were never told not to use this movement while sparring.

 

My last straw occurred another day in the same “soft” class, when we were doing an exercise where we would take our partner down, and our partner would surrender to the take down.  The philosophy was that sometimes in life you had to surrender to something that seemed bad, so that then it could be transformed into another situation. 

 

A woman in class asked the question- “So if someone is holding you down trying to violate you, are you supposed to surrender and just allow them to do whatever to you?”  I took the question to mean literally.  It was answered philosophically in an unclear way, that sounded like Zhen was saying “yes.”  Zhen proceeded to do a “theater” exercise that looked a lot to me like a rape scene, where she was dragged across the floor and said, “this is what it looks like when you don’t surrender.”  There were several people in tears and the room was silent.

 

A different person in class raised her hand and asked if Zhen could show what it would look like if she surrendered for a moment and then fought back.  Zhen replied, “This class isn’t ready for that.”  I was triggered and upset by this whole exchange.

 

During my time there I also took some of the “hard” martial arts classes, called “gongfu.”  I am not sure why it was called “gongfu” as we were only learning kicks, punches, blocks, and takedowns, no kungfu movements.  It was more like an intense kickboxing class. The whole two months we were told we were not "ready" to spar. The teacher was very clear that the tradition did not come from a lineage, something that IMO is necessary if you’re going to call it kungfu.

 

All students were taught to do rolls and take downs without real padding. There were extremely thin hard mats- harder than yoga mats, but about that thin -that were spread out over the floor and that moved around creating tripping hazards while we were running. We were taught to build trust and attention by playing catch with folding chairs, while students took turns laying in the middle of the circle of people.  While I know that martial arts is not a “safe” sport, this seemed to be creating an atmosphere of unnecessary danger.

 

The fitness level was beyond intense, which was enjoyable most days, but being that I have other things that I need to have energy for in the day, I did not want to put in 200% every day. There was definite shaming if you were not able to keep up, and there were no options if one was not physically able to do what was being asked. These reasons were enough for me to feel that my body was not going to be taken care of.